Mike Jacobsen

I put “simple” in quotation marks because while it may look simple written down quitting drinking is one of the hardest things someone suffering from A.U.D. can do.

That is why in this post I am going to be detailing the 8 steps you can take to help you get from the here and now (Drinking) to the promised land (Sobriety).

Step 0 – Read and adapt

Just a quick upfront warning. Sobriety, and getting sober, isn’t a one size fits all approach. Each person is unique and each person needs to find their own path. Find the way that best suits their specific needs.

That being said these 8 steps are designed to be a good starting block for EVERYONE. Think of it like this. Everyone cooks and eats differently. Some people have food sensitivities. Some people just don’t like certain things. Some people like to use the grill, others prefer frying, while others again use the oven.

So trying to create a plan that suits everyone is impossible. Can’t be done. But what you can do is give people a guide to the kitchen, explain how all of the appliances work. Tell them what food is available. Teach them some cooking techniques, provide them with some recipes and then they will be able to make a meal that is suitable for them.

That is what I am trying to do here. Everyone is different, so telling someone they have to do X in order to stay sober just isn’t going to work. There’s a popular thought that all alcohol abusers should be in AA. But not everyone responds well to AA. What I want to instill in everyone is this idea of ‘take what you need and leave the rest behind’. If at the end of the day you are happy and comfortable in your sobriety does it really matter how you got there? If you make a perfectly serviceable grilled cheese but you didn’t follow the recipe exactly does it make the grilled cheese any less tasty? Of course not.

• Read the steps
• Take what is going to work for you
• Leave what is not going to work for you
• Adapt
• Overcome

“A Step Program? How Original”

Yes, yes ok. I know that you are probably sick to death of Step programs. I was looking for a different name to call this program but I couldn’t think of a better one. Phases or Stages didn’t sound right. And tips or tricks sounded gimmicky bordering on scam-like.

But then I just thought if it works, it works. These steps are not in competition with the 12 Step Program from AA. In fact if you are following the 12 Step program – or plan to – I believe these steps will actually help. Both programs have different things to offer. And both programs can work together to provide great benefit.

The main difference between the steps below and of the 12 steps you see in AA is that the 12 Step Program is a more spiritual program designed to get your mind, body and soul into a state in which you no longer need or want to drink. Through the program you come to learn your place in the Universe and form a deeper relationship with “God as you understand him”. Very high level stuff, focused more on the spirituality aspect of sobriety.

My steps on the other hand are practical, on the nose, here is what you need to do and here is when you need to do it in order to stop drinking.

These steps are a blueprint of exactly what needs to be done at a low level. AA’s 12 steps are great at high level discussions and having you come to terms with yourself as a person; understanding your role in the addiction cycle. Lots of introspection takes place and hopefully by the end of the 12 steps you are more well rounded person who understands the reasons why they drink (drank) and who now has the emotional maturity to keep away from drink going forward. My steps on the other hand will tell you to pack some laxatives in your rehab kit because sometimes coming off the ale will block you up.

High level and low level. The 12 Steps are the overall strategy. These 8 steps are the plan. This is what we need to do.

When I quit drinking the first time – notice I said first time – I went in without a plan. I thought “I’ll just not drink again…how hard could it be?”

Turned out it was pretty hard. I was drinking again not long thereafter.

Then there were the countless times that I would drunkenly promise myself, or my family, that this was the last time. This time was different. This time I meant it.

Well I should have known better than to trust a drunk!

I would tell myself no more in the evening but would be right back on it the next day. Sometimes even the next morning (hair of the dog!).

I have no doubt that the people in my life just rolled their eyes every time I said I would quit drinking. I know for sure that my drinking “buddies” never believed a word I said.

And truth be told I didn’t believe it myself.

Not really.

I always knew deep down that I was lying to myself.

It wasn’t until this last time when I said “I quit” that I knew it was for real. I knew this time around that I had drank my last drink.

So what was different about this time?

This time I realised that quitting drinking required more than just saying “I quit drinking”.

In fact let’s call that step number 1:

Step 1 – Get in the right frame of mind

Sobriety is a journey not a destination”

Nobody ever said getting (and keeping) sober was going to be easy. Or if they did they were probably trying to sell you something.

Going into this you need to know that it is going to be difficult. There are going to be occasions when it all feels like too much and that drinking is the only solution.

The trick is to know this going in. Know that you need to prepare for the journey ahead. Just like with any journey you need to make sure you make the required preparations.

You wouldn’t climb a mountain before doing any research, doing any planning or without any gear. So don’t tackle alcohol addiction without knowing what is to come and putting a plan in place.

Some things you need to know going in:

• You WILL feel like shit for the first few days or more depending on how much you were drinking in the lead up to quitting – especially if you are quitting cold turkey.
• You WILL lose some of your drinking friends. Particularly if they are not supportive of your changes.
• You WILL get peppered with questions if you share that you are sober now (Or when they see you not drinking).
• You WILL need to make changes to your life to prevent relapse (more on this later)
• You MAY lapse. (Don’t let it turn into a relapse)

It’s important you know these things going in so you are ready to tackle them head on. It is remarkably easy to pick up a drink that inevitably turns into a lot more, and then soon enough you are right back where you started. A lot of sober people have done it – Hell the first time I quit I relapsed and took another few years before I got back onto the sobriety train. The key is to try and not let a one off bender lead into a full relapse. “Don’t let a lapse turn into a relapse“.

At this stage I recommend everyone to get their mind right in two ways; firstly by coming up with a list of reasons why you want to quit drinking. Write these down somewhere where you can look back on them whenever things are difficult. I always recommend writing these down as a hybrid letter/list. You are trying to tell future-you why they quit drinking in the first place. A straight list of reasons might not be enough to get the point across. What do you think is the best way to get through to you? Put that down on paper and keep it close by at all times.

Secondly I recommend you begin thinking about potential stumbling blocks. What is going to block you from achieving your goal? What triggers do you think will tempt you into drinking? Start thinking about how you are going to avoid these.

Just keep thinking at the moment. Putting these thoughts to paper comes later.

Step 2 – Make an appointment with a Doctor

I’ll keep this step and the next one somewhat non-descript as I am not a Doctor and you are not my patient.

You absolutely must make an appointment with your Doctor before embarking on any plan to quit drinking.

The reason for this is quite simple; quitting drinking can be dangerous.

You see alcohol is a sedative. Which means it relaxes you. The brain, in order to operate properly, needs to overcome these effects so goes into a hyperactive state to negate the effects of the alcohol. When you drink constantly the body is always in this sedative induced state and the brain is always working in a hyperactive state to counterbalance.

If you suddenly stop drinking the brain is still going to be firing off as if it is working to overcome. But without the alcohol as a counterbalance the brain can work itself into overdrive. And like the fan on your computer; when it works itself up like that it can just go kaput. In our case that can mean a stroke.

And strokes are not something to take lightly

But it’s not just strokes. Withdrawals can present the following symptoms (non-exhaustive list):

• Shaky hands
• Headache
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Insomnia
• Sweating
• Confusion
• Racing heart
• High blood pressure
• Fever
• Heavy sweating
• Hallucination
• Constipation

So not a fun day out at the beach at all.

This is why it is crucial that you speak to a Doctor before embarking on any plans to quit drinking.

They will be able to get a better understanding of your current drinking levels, your current health levels and be able to advise whether Cold Turkey, Tapering or Medical Supervision is the best path for you.

Step 3 – Stop Drinking

Bit weird that “Stop Drinking” is one of the steps on this list isn’t it? A list of steps on how to quit drinking and “Stop Drinking” is only step 3.

That’s right though. The goal that we are aiming for is to get sober and stay sober. Stopping drinking is only the first part (well 3rd part :-)) of that.

Once you get to this step your Doctor should have advised you how to go about stopping.

If you haven’t seen a Doctor yet go back up to Step 2 above.

So yeah as I was saying. Your Doctor should have advised you what method to use when weening yourself off the booze.

So what is the best way to stop drinking? Generally speaking there are 3 ways to quit drinking:

Cold Turkey

If you are going to go cold turkey I recommend that you do not have a “big last night” it is only going to make your withdrawal pains even worse and increase the risk of serious symptoms. If you absolutely must have one more blowout (which again I do not recommend) do it a few days before you quit for good.

Tapering

Tapering is a reduction process where you gradually reduce the number of drinks you have each day over a certain period of time.

The obvious downside of tapering is the fact that it requires you to restrict your drinking. Which is a lot harder than the above graph makes it seem. After all if i could control how much I drank I wouldn’t be in recovery!

Medically Assisted

Your Doctor will be able to walk you through what medical options are available. What will be offered to you will depend on your circumstances but will generally consist of some medication that will reduce the chance of stroke, help with the nausea, help with re-hydration and control your urges.

Step 4 – Manage Through the Withdrawals

Particularly relevant for those of you going cold turkey as you will likely be the hardest hit by withdrawals.

I recommend taking 7 days off. Book it in your diary. 7 days.

via GIPHY

Most people won’t need the full 7. The majority* of the withdrawal symptoms will be gone after 3-4 days and the last few days can be spent following Steps 5 and 6 in peace.

*you are likely to still feel a bit shitty for a couple weeks after quitting but the bulk of the symptoms should subside after a few days

Some people will need even less time still, perhaps you were already tapering off and the last step into stopping drinking was made relatively (relatively!) easy.

Then there will be other people who need more than the 7 days. If you have been drinking regularly for a long period of time before quitting then it might take you longer to get over the worst of it

What you will need

1. A quiet place to bunker down for a week (Home, Airbnb, hotel)
2. Time off work
3. A check-in buddy

What you need to know

What you need to do in advance

• Book time off work
• Find a quiet place to hole up for a week
• Arrange for a friend to check in on you throughout the week
• Sort out all of your clothes for the week
• Prepare all of your food for the week
• Prepare your miscellaneous items (towels, bed sheets, a fan, a portable heater, a bucket, moisturizer, laxatives)
• Get your vitamins, re-hydration packs, sleeping pills etc.
• Get the all clear from your doctor
• Get your house in order (make sure any bills are paid, there’s someone to take the bins out, dog walkers etc.)
• Stock up on smokes (you should quit smoking but this isn’t the time think about that)
• Entertainment (a week is a long time)
• Write down your reasons for quitting (as mentioned before)
• Get rid of the booze in your house

The aim here is to not have to leave the house at all if you don’t want to.

What to do for the 7 days

Try to live like a cat. Eat and sleep.

Eat, sleep, keep hydrated, keep entertained, don’t drink, repeat.

Try to keep outside interactions to a minimum. I recommend taking the sim card out of your phone and installing a new messaging app that only your check-in buddy has access to. Go no contact for the week.

Your body will be going through the symptoms of withdrawal so exercise will probably be out of the question. If you feel upto it though definitely try to get out and walk around for a bit. But don’t force it.

Get food delivered if you don’t feel like cooking – definitely do not go hungry! Eat even if you feel nauseous and keep drinking water throughout the day.

Step 5 – Hit the Meetings

90 meetings in 90 days. That’s what they tell you.

If that seems like too much. Then at least try for 7 in 7.

Meetings are not for everyone. But I always recommend that newly sober people at least give them a try before writing them off.

Meetings serve several purposes. The main one being that they provide the newly sober with human contact. And not just regular human contact. Empathetic contact. Contact with someone that knows the struggle. Contact that will listen to you – with no judgement. And if you don’t want to talk; Contact that will provide guidance through relatable sharing.

The reason why they say do 90 in 90, and the reason why I am saying at least do 7 in 7 is because meetings are as unique as the people who go to them.

Each meeting is different and just trying out one is a disservice to yourself and your sobriety. Try and hit each meeting in your local area before you make a decision on whether they are right for you. Also try and branch out further than AA. There are other meeting providers that provide a different program than AA. See if any of them are in your area

Just to note some of these are alternatives to the group support aspect of AA while some are alternatives to the 12 step program as a means of quitting drinking.

Smart Recovery – “Self-Management And Recovery Training (SMART) is a global community of mutual-support groups. At meetings, participants help one another resolve problems with any addiction (to drugs or alcohol or to activities such as gambling or over-eating). Participants find and develop the power within themselves to change and lead fulfilling and balanced lives guided by our science-based and sensible 4-Point Program®.”

LifeRing – “LifeRing Secular Recovery is an organization of people who share practical experiences and sobriety support. There are as many ways to live free of drugs and alcohol as there are stories of successful sober people. Many LifeRing members attend other kinds of meetings or recovery programs, and we honor those decisions. Some have had negative experiences in attempting to find help elsewhere, but most people soon find that LifeRing’s emphasis on the positive, practical present-day can turn anger and despair into hope and resolve. LifeRing respectfully embraces what works for each individual.”

Women for Sobriety – “Women for Sobriety, Inc., is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping women discover a happy New Life in recovery from Substance Use Disorders. Founded in 1975, the WFS New Life Program is based on thirteen Acceptance Statements which encourage emotional and spiritual growth. WFS has certified moderators and chat leaders leading mutual support groups online and in person, as well as phone volunteers available for one-on-one support. Any woman seeking an abstinent New Life is welcome to join WFS, and all expressions of female identity are welcome.”

SOS Sobriety – “Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS) is a nonprofit network of autonomous, non-professional local groups, dedicated solely to helping individuals achieve and maintain sobriety/abstinence from alcohol and drug addiction, food addiction and more.”

HAMS – “HAMS is a peer-led and free-of-charge support and informational group for anyone who wants to change their drinking habits for the better. The acronym HAMS stands for Harm reduction, Abstinence, and Moderation Support. HAMS Harm Reduction strategies are defined in the 17 elements of HAMS. HAMS offers support via an online forum, a chat room, an email group, a facebook group, and live meetings. We also offer harm reduction information via the HAMS Book, the articles on this web site, and the HAMS podcast. HAMS supports every positive change. Choose your own goal – safe drinking, reduced drinking, or quitting alcohol altogether.”

The Sinclair Method – “The Sinclair Method (TSM) is a treatment for alcohol addiction that uses a technique called pharmacological extinction—the use of an opiate blocker to turn habit-forming behaviors into habit erasing behaviors. The effect returns a person’s craving for alcohol to its pre-addiction state.

In a few months, most people can cut down their alcohol consumption to safe levels and many stop drinking alcohol for good. It is important to comply with the instructions at all times.”

Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Control Alcohol – “Allen Carr established himself as the world’s greatest authority on helping people stop smoking, and his internationally best-selling Easy Way to Stop Smoking has been published in over 40 languages and sold more than 10 million copies.

In this classic guide Allen applies his revolutionary method to drinking. With startling insight into why we drink and clear, simple, step-by-step instructions, he shows you the way to escape from the ‘alcohol trap’ in the time it takes to read this book.”

We have a reader review of his book on this site that you can read here

Also don’t forget online meetings

https://www.intherooms.com/member/home

I’ve started to favor the online meetings of late as I feel you get to see and hear from a wider range of people. What I like – or rather what I find comforting – is that the people in these meetings can come from all walks of life and be so different. Different ages, races, sexes, nationalities, different interests but then be the same when it comes to recovery. Alcohol abuse the great equalizer.

So start off with 7 in 7, try to get to 90 in 90 but don’t worry if you dial it back a bit after finding a meeting(s) that you like. Also don’t worry if you feel that meetings aren’t for you. Not everyone will respond to meetings and that doesn’t mean you can’t still get sober.

So look up your local meetings and head on over. Worst case scenario you have lost an hour of your day.

If you are worried about going to your first meeting don’t be. They are very welcoming of new users. Read this post to see what you should expect on your first visit

Step 6 – Create a Relapse Prevention Plan

I have written about relapse prevention plans before. I highly recommend checking out that article to get the full run down on what a relapse prevention plan is, how it aids sobriety, how to make one, all that good stuff.

Check out that article here

A brief recap of what is discussed in that article:

A relapse prevention plan is a written document that tries to anticipate the triggers that will occur in sobriety and details steps to take to overcome while remaining sober.

A good relapse prevention plan has 5 key areas:

1. Trigger Treatment Strategy – Ask yourself these 5 questions

From your answers to these questions identify your triggers and formulate a treatment strategy.

E.g.

• Going to the game with the lads – Stop going the game until I feel more comfortable
• Cooking dinner alone in the kitchen – Ask for help with the cooking
• After a stressful day in work – Take the dog out for a walk as soon as I get home
• After hearing bad news – Call my sponsor as soon as I get bad news

2. Craving Management

Not all triggers can be foreseen. Sometimes you will be triggered to drink by the most innocuous of things. Hell sometimes you might be triggered to drink from absolutely nothing at all.

It’s times like these you need a goto solution to take your mind off drinking.

For example mine was going for a short run. Yours could be that you take a walk, or that you meditate.

A friend of mine from my meeting says that every time he gets the urge he plays Pokemon on his gameboy (the original Pokemon Red!). He says that gets his mind off it and is still fun even after so many years.

3. Support Network

Sure you could do it alone. But why would you? You are many many many more times likely to succeed if you build up a reliable support network

In Step 5 I told you to hit the meetings. Now I am telling you to put those meetings to good use. Use the support that these meetings provide. Go to the meetings, exchange numbers with other people, socialize, get a sponsor, maybe down the line even become a sponsor.

Friends and family are also important here. But only if they are supportive.

Cut adrift anyone who you think will be a risk to your sobriety

Nobody is more important than you getting and staying sober” – Tweet this

Once you are more stable in your sobriety you can start to allow these people back into your life. But to begin with if they are not helping then they can get to stepping.

4. Lifestyle Changes

We’ll talk about this more in Step 7. But in short what you should think about is how you are going to change your life not only to prevent you from drinking but also so that you are in a place where you do not need to drink.

This means putting in place a plan to improve each area of your life. Really examine each area and ask yourself:

• How has drinking impacted this?
• Will the situation as it is make me more or less likely to drink in the future?
• How do I improve from my current position?

So the classic example. Job/Career. You might answer these questions like this (these are made up answers)

• How has drinking impacted this? – I am unemployed because I could not hold down a job (or maybe you are underemployed because you could not get a promotion due to drinking)
• Will the situation as it is make me more or less likely to drink in the future? – I am more likely to drink because the stress of unemployment is a trigger.
• How do I improve from my current position? – Now that I am sober I can take a course that will improve my qualifications. I also need to create a Linkedin profile and start applying for jobs.

5. Set a timeframe to renew

That’s all that is needed for this stage. Just pop a date on the top of what you have written and come back to it at this time.

Pro tip – if you have typed up your plan then you can email it to yourself and set a reminder to follow up.

At first I recommend setting a shorter time period of 1 month. That is enough time for you to get comfortable in your sobriety and to start making the changes outlined in your plan.

Then after you have done your month, look back on the plan and see how much you have grown.

Once the month is up you start all over again. This time it will be a lot easier as you’ll have the experience under your belt – plus you don’t need to write as much! Just update what you wrote before with any new changes.

Once you have one month in the bank move it up to a 3 month renewal, then a 6 and then yearly updates going forward.

Step 7 – Rebuild your life

I think it’s fair to say that there is no area of life that is improved by alcohol abuse.

Maybe your relationship with the local shopkeeper.

But other than that alcohol is a drain on all of the key life markers.

So now that you are sober why not actively target each area and make your life noticeably better?

Let’s knock at each area and see how drinking has affected it and how we can rebuild/improve.

Money

I dived into this in a recent post I made – Where Did My Money Go? The Hidden Costs of Alcohol Use Disorder – In that post we looked at how damaging alcohol can be on the old wallet.

Not only do you spend money on drinking – which can cost a lot already – but there are a bunch of hidden costs that you don’t really account for. Things like taxis, food, increased health costs. Also alcohol lowers your inhibitions which causes an increase in gambling, drunken purchases and an overall tendency to overspend.

Luckily the impacts to your finances are largely resolved by your decision to quit drinking. Once you stop shelling out money for booze your disposable income will skyrocket.

What will not be easily resolved however are any debts you may have racked up either while drinking or because of drinking.

First off find out what, if any, debt you have. Comb through your recent bank statements for charges, get a free credit report from one of the major reference agencies and just look around your home for any correspondence (I used to throw letters into a box next to the couch – most of them weren’t even opened!).

Now armed with that knowledge make a plan to pay off this debt. I like the Avalanche Method of debt repayment. Click here to learn more about that. In simple terms the debt avalanche method has you pay off the minimum on all of your debts except for the one with the highest interest rate. This one you pay off the most you can afford. Once this is paid off you do the same for the one with the next highest interest rate. And so on and so forth.

If you have a lot of debt or believe you are in trouble of not being able to pay your debts consider reaching out to a debt charity

StepChange (UK)
Debt.org (USA)

Career

Very closely related to money that we have just talked about. Since your career is going to largely determine how much money you make.

Even the most high functioning of alcohol abusers will probably admit that their career has probably been impacted by alcohol use. Without the booze we would be a lot further along with our career goals than we are.

After all who is more likely to get the promotion. Drunk/hungover, unreliable employee? Or the sober employee who shows up on time, doesn’t take excessive sick days and gets all his work done?

Exactly.

So now that you are sober what can you do? Well my advice is to do the following (and this advice is the same for you whether you are employed or unemployed)

1. Make sure your CV is as polished as it can be. If you have the spare resource consider hiring a CV writer to give it the once over.
2. Get profiles made on all of the major recruiting sites in your industry (i.e. Linkedin, Indeed, CWjobs etc.). On Linkedin try to get your current and ex-colleagues to endorse you.
3. Bolster your CV with a new skill or qualification. Can’t really give specific advice here as each industry/career is different. But you are going to have a lot more free time now that you are sober. Why not put some of it to use improving your knowledge or skills in a way that will boost your earning potential?
4. Apply for new jobs. Yes even if you are already employed. The damage is likely to be done in that company and if you want to progress you should move to pastures new. Try to keep on the good side of your colleagues and ask any senior staff that you are friendly with if they will provide you with a reference. Then jump ship.

Health

Alcohol is a poison. It negatively impacts every organ, every system, every cell in your body. Here’s a quick video showing all the ways it really fucks your body up:

So now that you are sober you want to reverse this damage as much as possible.

You are already seeing a Doctor anyway as part of Step 2. So make a followup appointment with them. Get a full checkup and follow any advice they give you.

Next start a fitness regimen. Nothing too strenuous at first. Couch to 5k from the NHS is a good one. Something that gets you back into shape. Also start eating healthy.

Obviously this isn’t a requirement per se. You’re living a much healthier life as it is just by not drinking. And for sure if eating like shit and slobbing on the couch works for you then more power to you. Do what feels right. However as the saying goes…

Healthy body, healthy mind.

The better you feel the more likely you are to succeed in your sobriety.

Relationships

Do I need to mention how alcohol will have affected the relationship you have with other people? I don’t think it will come as any surprise to anyone when I say that alcohol will have negatively affected your relationships. I would say probably all of your relationships.

You know this as well. Other people will have told you as much. It is probably one of the reasons you are here reading this in the first place.

Well now that we are sober we can seek to repair these relationships.

Those of you with experience with the 12 step program will already know the best way we can seek to fix these relationships. And as I said earlier these 8 steps are not in competition with the 12 steps, they are not mutually exclusive. They can be used in conjunction.

And that’s what we’re going to do. In order to fix our relationships we are going to be lifting directly from Steps 8 & 9:

These two steps are great for relationship repairing. For step 8 sit down and really think about everyone you have wronged through your alcohol abuse.

Then step 9 is to reach out to those people and seek to repair the relationship. Here’s a good video I was recently sent that looks at both of these steps.

Some important things to keep in mind when reading the above steps and when you are trying to repair relationships:

• Do not make amends with people if the reason your relationship is fractured is not entirely due to your drinking AND you are not ‘over’ what ever else is happening. If you have other unresolved issues with this person make sure that you are ready to deal with the whole package before you reach out.
• In step 9 it refers to “them or others” when saying do not make amends if it would cause harm. Remember that you are part of “others”. If you feel as though making amends with this person is going to cause you harm THEN DO NOT REACH OUT. And I am not just talking about physical harm here. If you feel you will come out of this emotionally worse off then this could be a threat to your sobriety and you should delay making amends.
• Some people wont forgive you. Be prepared for that.
• Not every ‘harm’ needs to be accounted for. I’ve seen people go through big notebooks full of people they have harmed with pages and pages of instances of drunken behavior. While yes we are taking a moral inventory there are some things that you can let slide. Think big and medium ticket items only. Re-living every single instance of alcohol related douschebaggery is not good for your mental health – and therefore your recovery.
• Similarly don’t reach out to every tom, dick and harry you’ve ever met just to apologize. It might feel good for you but you might just be putting people into an awkward spot, particularly if you are not really close with this person. For those people maybe just write down your transgressions and make a plan to apologize if your paths cross again.

Hobbies

What is it that you like to do? What inspires you? What makes you laugh? What piques your interest?

What did you used to do for fun when you were a kid? A teenager? In College?

What have you always wanted to try but “didn’t have the time”?

When you quit drinking you are going to find that you have an abundance of free time.

All that time spent in the pub or sat around drinking. Gone.

All that time spent recovering on the couch. Gone.

Once you get free of the drunk / hungover cycle your days will feel longer. This is why not only are you able to pick up some hobbies but you also really need to pick up hobbies. The alternative is just long days with nothing to fill them. From there comes boredom. With boredom comes restlessness and with restlessness comes a lapse.

So get out there and have fun. You have to. For your sobriety’s sake.

Step 8 – Live your life

Yeah that’s Step 8. Go. Live.

If you’ve completed Steps 1-7 you will now hopefully be in a place where you are no longer addicted to or abusing alcohol.

This doesn’t mean that you should try drinking again.

There will come a point in your recovery that you will start to think:

I’ve been sober so long I bet I can handle drinking moderate amounts responsibly”

Everyone in recovery – multiple occasions

No you can’t.

Just remember that you wouldn’t be here reading this extremely long post (6000+ words) if you could drink responsibly

In fact go back on over to Step 6 – where you made your relapse prevention plan – and add in as a potential trigger:

“I might think I am cured and can drink responsibly again”

Write that into your plan and then come up with a good treatment strategy that you will enact when that time comes.

Here is mine:

I read that whenever that little voice in my head says to go out and just have one or two. If I was able to just have one or two that would be great. But I have never been able to before so I don’t know why I would start now.

So keep on track with the goals and strategies laid out in your relapse prevention plan.

Continue to adjust to your new life free of alcohol.

And most importantly begin to enjoy life again.

That’s it from me. If you are not drinking…

IWNDWYT – I will not drink with you today!