Going Sober

Alcoholic, binge drinker, drunkard, boozer, lush. Each word is driving across the same message. This person has a drinking problem. And boy are they not alone.

According to the NIAAA 14.4 million Americans over the age of 18 are affected by Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)

In this post today we are going to look at how you can determine whether you have a drinking problem and what you can/should do about it.

We have previously discussed 19 reasons you may want to stop drinking. In that post we talked about how when you stop drinking you will have more money, more time, a healthier body, a healthier mind and many other improvements. If you haven’t read that post yet I do recommend you check it out.

There was one ‘reason’ that was purposely not mentioned in that article. Not because it is unimportant. No. It’s probably the furthest from unimportant a reason can be. It wasn’t included in that post because that post was mainly about the benefits of stopping drinking. And this reason is anything but.

Reason to stop drinking #20

Because you have a drinking problem

It’s as simple as that. If alcohol is becoming a problem in your life then you should think about stopping.

Obviously knowing you should stop and actually stopping are two completely different things with wildly contrasting difficulties. But as most (if not all) support programs will tell you, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

– 1st step Alcoholics Anonymous

Most people who have a drinking problem are not surprised to find out. They may have been in denial about it but all the signs were there. So how do you know if you have a drinking problem? To start with take the below questionnaire:

Answer YES or NO to the following questions. You are only answering to yourself here so try to be honest and truthful. Whats the point in lying to yourself at this point, am I right?

1. Have you tried to quit drinking before without success?
2. Do you regularly exceed the number of drinks you initially intended to have? I.e. You go out for one and end up having 10.
3. Have you missed any days of work or school because you were drunk or hungover?
4. Do you regularly engage in unsafe activities while drinking or just after drinking? I.e. driving, operating machinery, illicit drug use etc.
5. Do you regularly have “extra” drinks when out with friends? As in your friends have 4 drinks but you have 8.
6. When sober do you ever have strong cravings to drink?
7. Have you ever drank to relieve symptoms of depression or because you were feeling nervous or anxious?
8. Have you ever cancelled plans so that you could start, or continue, drinking?
9. Do you regularly have alcohol related memory loss?
10. Have you ever been injured as a result of your drinking?
11. Has your drinking ever caused issues with your family or friends?
12. Do you think your life would be better if you did not drink?

Now these questions aren’t exactly scientific. They are more philosophical in nature. They are designed to get you to think about your drinking; how it affects others and just as importantly how it is affecting you and who you can be.

If you have answered YES to any of these questions then you have abused alcohol at some point in your life. If you answer YES to more than one of these questions and do so frequently then you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Whether that rises to “a problem” can only be answered by you.

Now truly reflect on the answers you gave to the above 12 questions and answer this 13th and final question:

Do you have a drinking problem?

If you are being completely honest with yourself and still answered no then I am happy for you. Maybe bookmark this page in case you ever need to revisit your relationship with alcohol.

If you answered yes then we have some work to do.

Steps to take

Firstly I recommend further research to determine how you should best approach going sober. If you have a physical dependence on alcohol then it is not recommended that you go cold turkey. To start I recommend reading the below posts:

How to Quit Drinking – The 8 “Simple” Steps to a New Sober You

Diagnostic Criteria
Quit Drinking Methods
How I Quit Drinking
Physical Symptoms of a Drinking Problem
What triggers you to drink?

Secondly I recommend you go to a meeting (find your nearest meeting here). When you are first coming to terms with this it is best to be around other people who have been there before. Go to a few meetings and just listen to what is being shared. You may find that some aspects of the meeting aren’t right for you. And that’s OK. Just be mindful of the things that are right for you.

Take what you need and leave the rest behind

A popular AA motto. It basically means that each person’s sobriety is unique. So take the ideas that will help you maintain your sobriety, and leave the rest of the ideas behind.

Finally do not continue to struggle alone. Tell your friends and family what is going on. Keep going to the meetings (try different meetings if the first one is not for you). Check in on the online communities.

If after all of this you are still struggling and need someone to talk to then consider therapy. A professional therapist will be able to provide an expertly tailored treatment plan that will help in the mental road to recovery. While you may get over the physical cravings in a relatively short period of time; the mental, social and psychological triggers can and will linger for years to come. Therapy will help with this, and more.

Alcohol is all around us. It is advertised on the television, on billboards, in magazines, on public transport. Literally everywhere. It is sold in supermarkets, sports events, the cinema, hell even my local zoo sold beer last time I was there.

When something is this pervasive in our day-to-day lives it is often difficult to take a step back and examine how it impacts us; both personally and as a society.

When enjoyed responsibly alcohol can be beneficial in many ways. As humans though we have a tendency to go overboard when it comes to alcohol and in doing so bring about some of its more negative effects.

If you feel like you might have a drinking problem and are looking into your options for quitting then consider reading this post also – How to Quit Drinking – The 8 “Simple” Steps to a New Sober You

Otherwise let’s take a look at 19 reasons why you might want to quit. Note this list is not exhaustive.

1: No more pang of dread in the morning – You know the feeling. That wave of fear and shame that washes right over you the moment you wake up.

“What did I do last night?”

What follows is an attempt at piecing together the fragments of the night. Often unsuccessfully.

Without the booze this feeling goes away for the most part. There’s still the chance you did something embarrassing the night before but it won’t be because of any drunken foolishness.

2: No more hangovers – The price of a drink today is the pain you feel tomorrow. I used to call it borrowing happiness from tomorrow. My friends have some more colorful ways to describe the feeling:

“Like sh*t warmed up”
“Head like a box of hammers”
“Like I’ve gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson”
or that one friend who will not even partake in conversation
“F*ck off mate, I’m dying here”

What ever way you phrase it hangovers suck. Suck massively.

Sure you can dampen the symptoms of a hangover by drinking plenty of water, replenishing your electrolytes and getting a good night’s sleep. But the only true cure for a hangover is to not drink in the first place.

3: No more apologies – Needing to justify your behavior as “something I only did because I was drunk”. Sure it may work the first few times and the wronged party forgives you. But once you start making it a regular occurrence people will be less forgiving.

People are much less forgiving when it comes to repeated mistakes: especially ones that are alcohol fueled. The goto response you will hear is “if you know you are like this when you drink, why don’t you just not drink”.

4: No more sneaking, lying and hiding – No more booze hidden around the house. No more lying to friends and family about how many you have had. No sneaking out to tie on a couple of quick ones. No need to keep track of all the local closing hours to know where you can get the next drink from.

5: No more beer belly – A pint of lager has around 180 calories. That is about the same calories as a slice of pizza. Think about that. If you go out down the pub on a Saturday afternoon and tie on 6 or so pints. That is a full pizza in calories.

If you were sitting down for dinner you wouldn’t order 2 pizzas. So why do we think drinking our calories is somehow more reasonable.

Answer is that it’s not and we are just kidding ourselves into thinking it is.

Cut the booze and watch as those pounds fall off.

6: More money – Start saving money the second you stop drinking. The price of alcohol is increasing year on year in most developing countries. Here in the UK a pint of lager can easily set you back over £4. Even more if you head into London for your drinking. That price is expected to rise again this year as the government look to increase the taxes on alcohol even more.

And it’s not just the price of the booze itself you will be saving on. It’s all the incidental costs incurred by drinking. The late night drunken internet purchases. The taxis between bars because drunk you doesn’t like the bus. The late fees on bills that are not paid because drunk/hungover people are not exactly reliable.

And for my American friends. Cutting out the booze is good for your health (more on this later) which, in the long run, will result in lower medical bills.

7: More time – A little mathematical formula:

No time spent in the pub + No time spent hungover + Better quality sleep = So much more free time!

8: Less injuries – Whether it is from falling over, fighting or just plain dumb misadventure (“I can climb that wall no problem”) the number of accidents that can be directly attributed to drinking makes for some grim reading.

• 14% of all road deaths in Britain are alcohol related
• Alcohol is the cause of 25% of workplace accidents

“But I don’t drink and drive and I definitely don’t go to work drunk”

In 2016/17 there were 337,000 admissions to hospital that were attributed to alcohol. Not all of them were driving or workplace accidents. Harrowing figures.

https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/statistics-on-alcohol/2018/part-1

9: Less sickness – Alcohol is a poison. Alcohol damages pretty much every major and minor organ in your body either directly or indirectly. When you drink your body is working overtime to get rid of the alcohol from your system. In doing so your body gets worn down and becomes less effective at fighting off other illness. This is why you are more likely to get sick if you are a consistent drinker.

Quitting drinking will give your body back its fighting capacity which will mean any illnesses that come your way are more likely to be batted away before causing any harm.

10: Heightened senses – Just like Spiderman.

Well not exactly like Spiderman. You won’t be swinging from webs any time soon just because you stopped drinking. What you will find is that your senses become sharper. You will see better, hear better and even taste/smell better. This is because over time alcohol has numbed your senses. Once the alcohol is out of your system these senses will start to come back.

11: Increased Self Worth – More money, more free time, no hangovers, less illness, more productive. No more feeling shame every morning. No more hiding. Tell me all of that won’t make you feel better about yourself.

Once the ale stops being a factor in your life so many things will improve that you will be hard pressed to not feel good about yourself.

12: Better relationships – When you drink your relationships suffer. The only relationships that really thrive are the ones with your drinking buddies. Can you really call these type of acquaintances friends though? Or are they more like people who are in the vicinity of you when you are drinking.

When you stop drinking you will notice that your friends and family have a lot more time for you. Even friends you haven’t spoke to for a while may begin to reappear in your life. Because newsflash the reason you stopped hanging out in the first place wasn’t because you drifted apart, but because they were sick of drunk you.

13: Better health –

This is a great quick video (just 7 minutes) that runs through 50 different ways in which alcohol messes with our health.

14: Better mental health – Alcohol is a depressant that messes with your hormone levels. Particularly with your serotonin and dopamine levels. When you drink the level of these chemicals in your body will begin to rise. This is why you often feel good at the beginning of a drinking session. However over time, and into the next day(s), these levels will plummet and have you feeling depressed.

Stop drinking and these levels will revert to normal and you will begin to have a much better mental outlook.

15: Better looks – Alcohol dehydrates the skin which speeds up the aging process. It also causes that red blotchy look that you see on old drunks in pubs.

Quitting drinking will stop your skin from being constantly caught up in this dehydration cycle and will have your skin looking younger than ever. Also lack of dry, wrinkly, red skin is definitely a better look for everyone.

16: Better sleep – Have you ever had 9+ hours sleep after a bender, one of those sleeps where you are completely out to the world, but still wake up feeling tired? That’s the alcohol.

When you are drunk your body is unable to get into what is known as REM sleep as effectively as when you are sober. REM is the mentally restorative stage of sleep. So when you don’t get enough of it your brain is still going to feel tired.

Stop drinking and you will feel much more refreshed while getting less sleep than usual.

17: Better sex life – Alcohol related performance issues. Need I say more?

18: Better career prospects – Put yourself in your employer’s position. Who are you going to give extra responsibilities to? Who are you going to give that promotion to? Who can you rely on to get the job done?

Drunk/Hungover all the time you,

or sober you?

Yeah it’s a no brainer really

19: It is not too late – your body can heal itself – When you quit drinking:

• Your heart gets healthier
• Your liver may heal
• Your risk of developing cancers will potentially lower
• Your blood pressure will lower
• Your brain will get more efficient (refined motor skills, improved memory etc.)

Now I am no doctor, just a fellow alcohol abuser in recovery, so I cannot claim to understand the science behind all of this. But if you want more info I recommend viewing the full slideshow and researching further at the below link:

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/ss/slideshow-quit-alcohol-effects

The cliff-notes of the above presentation are that it is not too late to repair/reverse some of the damage done through drinking.

Already decided to stop drinking? – Join the discussion and share your reasons in the comments below. Your post might persuade others to stop drinking for themselves.