Step 7 AA – Fixing Our Character Flaws

“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

Step seven works closely upon step six, as it is all about removing those character defects you discovered and acknowledged in the previous step. It is about letting go of those character defects and creating more helpful and positive behaviour patterns. Today, we explain in a little more detail on how you do this in step seven.

This post is part of a 15 part look into the 12 Step Program and how it can be used to help in alcohol addiction and recovery. The full 15 part book can be downloaded for free by Clicking Here

What Is Step 7?

AA members will find that step seven is all about personal change. It involves letting go of the character defects that have influenced your life negatively. 

While you will ask your higher power to remove your shortcomings, it does not mean that you do not have to work on it. After all, character defects will not disappear from one day to the next. 

When doing step seven, you become more aware of the new choices you are making. Instead of repeating old and unhelpful behavioural patterns, you will be making new ones.

How Do I Do Step 7?

Exacting the previous six steps properly is vital to execute step seven well. After all, the previous steps help you to remove and acknowledge unhelpful behaviours from the past, including denial and lying. 

To execute step seven, you must humbly ask your higher power to remove your shortcomings. In addition to that, you will also start to change your previously unhelpful behaviours into something more positive. Here are some of the common actions taken by recovering addiction sufferers during step seven.

Catch yourself: When you are more familiar with your character defects, it becomes much easier to detect them as they happen. During step seven, you will attempt to catch your previously unhelpful behaviours and stop them in their tracks. Sometimes reactions are involuntary as they are ingrained in your psyche, so be sure to pay additional attention if something feels all too familiar. 

Compassion: During step seven, it is also vital to have some compassion for yourself and for others. While you are tackling your character defects, compassion for yourself and other people is something you will re-learn. 

Boundaries: Step seven also involves setting boundaries for your environment. For example, you will choose not to interact with people or situations of which you know are triggers. If contact with certain triggers cannot be avoided for whatever reason, then you set some clear boundaries in place. For example, if someone is making your feel guilty for going through the recovery program, then you must put in boundaries and set your boundaries with this person. If this person makes a request from you that you are not comfortable with for example, you catch yourself, set boundaries, and say no.

What Are Common Pitfalls And How Do I Avoid Them?

Step seven involves confronting and actually tackling a lot of unhelpful behaviours, and this can be quite difficult for many AA members. Needless to say, this is also an especially important step to maintain sobriety in the future. So, here are a couple of the pitfalls to be aware of while doing step seven.

Not coping with emotional discomfort: Emotional discomfort is quite common during step seven. It is human instinct to fight or avoid emotional discomfort, especially when attempting to make changes in terms of character defects. During step seven, it is important to confront emotional discomfort and learn to cope with it in a healthier manner. During this, it is important to seek additional support if you need it.

Patience: Much like the other steps in the twelve-step program, change does not happen overnight. It is important to realise that changes will happen gradually and that these take time to become a habit. Therefore, keep paying attention during step seven and catch yourself if routine comes back in terms of previously unhelpful behavioural patterns.

Perfectionism: There is no such thing as perfection because the simple truth is that nobody is perfect. The same applies to trying to change unhelpful behaviour. If you are trying to change unhelpful behaviour, you will not be completely successful from the start. You will catch yourself thinking unhelpful thoughts, or maybe you did an unhelpful behaviour out of habit. The most important thing is to catch yourself and make the changes regularly. Doing so will set new patterns and create permanent changes. In short, there is no such thing as doing step seven perfectly. However, there is such a thing as putting in time and effort for success. 

How Will I Know When I Am Ready To Move Onto Step 8?

During step seven, you developed new helpful habits and behaviours. You also said goodbye to the character defects that had a major negative impact on your life.

You know when you are ready for step eight when you make a comparison. Basically, you will compare the person you are now to the person you were when you were in the throes of addictive behavioural patterns. Take note of the journey you have taken and the immense changes you see in yourself.

For your personal evaluation, it can help you to write down some of the changes you noticed in yourself during step seven, but also the rest of the steps you went through. If you struggle to put things into words, you can also have a conversation with a trusted person. 

Once again, it is vital that you realise that permanent change happens over time and with repetition. So, once you move away from step seven, it does not mean you no longer focus on catching and changing unhelpful behaviours. Instead, you will keep on maintaining step seven throughout your life, this prevents the formation of new unhelpful behaviours and minimizes potential addiction triggers in the future.

If you are unsure whether or not to move onto step eight, getting some additional support is not a bad idea. Have a conversation with someone at your AA group, or maybe confess to your higher power if there are some things you struggle with. You can also write some things down to see if you need to spend a little longer on step seven. And that’s okay!