You know the number.
The only number anyone ever talks about when you tell them you are sober.
How long have you been sober?
or
When was your last drink?
That number.
The single, double, triple, quadruple or quintuple digit number that people will use when deciding whether they should listen to what you have to say.
“Oh you’ve only been sober for 50 days. I’ll take John’s advice instead he’s been coming for over 4 years”
Well great for John but while his 4 years of experience will be useful, so will the experience of the guy with 50 days. As will the experience from the person with 200 days. 1 day. 1 week. These are all people who are not drinking TODAY and their guidance could be useful.
Another reason why I don’t stress the numbers is because I think they play a part in when people relapse. Now I am not saying they directly cause people to relapse. But I do believe they play a part in how a slip up becomes a full blown relapse.
Someone who has 350 days sober will be shooting for that year. The big 365. If they go to a meeting like mine someone will probably bake them a cake.
But then – oh no – the next day they slip. Maybe the birthday was a trigger. They know that they should pick themselves up and get back on the path. But all that’s going through their head is that they are no longer on day 366. They are now back on day 1.
If they go back to the meeting – the same one they’ve just had a cake at – do they have to tell everyone? Do they get up and say “Hi, I’m an alcoholic it’s been 1 day since my last drink”?
Do you think that guy is more or less likely to go from slip up to full relapse?
That’s why I like to just say “I am comfortably and happily sober”. I do not feel like drinking today. And hopefully I won’t tomorrow. I obviously know how long it has been and I like to keep track of it. But that number is just for me. If I slip tomorrow I will be more concerned about getting back into my sober mindset than I would about the number.
Of course that is just me. If you find the number inspirational, and that it helps keep you sober, then keep tracking and keep sharing it at meetings. Otherwise don’t stress it.
IWNDWYT – I will not drink with you today!
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