Step 6 AA – Removing Negative Character Defects

“We became willing to ask God to help us remove our defects of character.”

This post is part of a 15 part look into the 12 Step Program and how it can be used to help in alcohol addiction and recovery. The full 15 part book can be downloaded for free by Clicking Here

During the previous step, you confessed some of your worst memories and actions to a higher power or to another person. With step six, it is time to decide to let go of your character flaws and your hurtful memories. Now, we will explore how this is done. 

What Is Step 6?

In the previous steps, you acknowledged a lot of your character flaws and the hold the addiction had on your life. You also started to look at your shortcomings in an honest way, which paves the way to step number six. 

During step six, you ask your higher power to remove the character flaws that have influenced your life negatively. Like most of the steps in the twelve-step program, this is a process that takes time. Therefore, it is not uncommon for addiction sufferers to return to this step more than once, or simply take a bit of extra time to complete it. 

How Do I Do Step 6?

Since you acknowledged your character defects in the previous steps, you will now move onto letting go of those character defects. After all, not doing so could lead you to repeat character defects over and over again.

For some, it can help to create a list of the character flaws you have acknowledged during the previous steps. Write each of these character defects down and describe them as much as you can. Ideally, you should write down how this character defect influences your behaviour in the past. It should also show you how the defect influenced people in your environment. Once you have described the defect in the most detail, you can start writing down what your life would be like if you did not have this character defect. 

Another way to execute step six is to create affirmations based on your character defect list. Basically, it means you create affirmations to negate past negative behaviour. For example, if your addiction caused you to lie to your family members or friends, a good affirmation could be “I will be honest from now on”. 

Affirmations are only successful if they are repeated regularly. Ideally, you want to repeat at least five positive affirmations in the morning and the evening. Repeating these out loud in front of the mirror has also shown to be quite effective for the formation of new neural pathways. 

In conclusion, step six is all about recognising your character defects and starting to believe you can change. It is also about being honest because some of your defects might actually give you pleasure. By looking at the defect from a neutral point-of-view, you can break through some of the mistaken beliefs you have acquired during the course of your addiction. 

Surrendering is also a key to step six. As mentioned in step one, control is something that rules the life of many addicts and that it is important to release that control – or to acknowledge that some things were never in our control to begin with. Step six is another great exercise in giving up control, because you are willing to acknowledge your character defects and do something about them.

What Are The Common Pitfalls And How Do I Avoid Them?

Since you will be facing your character flaws once more in step six, you will find that your overall psyche can be quite resistant to change. As such, there are numerous pitfalls you can encounter but could also successfully avoid.

Not enough repetition: When it comes down to character defects, it is often something that is embedded inside a person for a long period of time. Evidently, the more you repeat bad behaviour, the more it is ingrained. Therefore, repetition is vital to gain the most from step six. 

Do not beat yourself up: You do not have to do things perfectly right away. Only by repeating your affirmations and making changes consistently will you be able to eliminate some of the character defects that affected your life negatively. It is important not to beat yourself up if a change you made does not work immediately. For example, you may find it difficult to open up to people and tell yourself that you will start to do so. If you cannot do this immediately, this is completely normal. Change takes time, and this certainly applies with turning character defects around.

Giving into fear: Since step six involves confronting some of the negative parts of your character that have plagued your life, it can be very confronting and obviously many people have some reservations about making those changes. Fear plays a major role into this, as changing current behaviour can feel uncomfortable and unnatural to you. However, it is vital to break through any fear you experience to come out the other end. 

Do not see yourself as defective: Having character defects does not mean you are a “defective” person. Evidently, this mistaken belief can often lead to depression and anxious thoughts among addiction sufferers. It does not mean however that you are aware of your character defects and are willing to make a change. Never does it make you defective or untreatable. You are deserving, so it is more about putting yourself first by being honest about your character defects, opposed to letting yourself being suppressed by them. 

How Will I Know When I Am Ready To Move Onto Step 7?

As you may expect already, step six does take a little time to go through. Before you can move onto step seven, you must acknowledge your character flaws and be willing to change them. Ideally, you have started to change them already by using affirmations and choosing different behaviours to promote the development of more helpful character traits. 

Before you move onto step seven, it is also important to be proud of the victory you have obtained during step six and acknowledge that you are making good progress. It is also important to keep remembering that your recovery is a journey with its ups and downs, so you should revisit step six if you feel there are still some unresolved character flaws you need to work on.