“We are Completely Lost Without God”: This is How Faith Saved Brian Welch from the Clutches of Addiction
Brian Philips Welch, better known as Head — the lead guitarist/co-founder of the rock band Korn — broke a lot of fans’ hearts as he suddenly decided to pack his bags and completely leave the band back in 2005.
This was also a shock for his bandmates as they were currently one of the domineering metal rock bands in that era, earning multi-platinum record albums.
For most, this would sound like an absurd decision. For Welch, this was the right decision.
The decision to leave everything behind turned into a no-brainer to the former band member as he claimed to “had found Jesus”, deciding to dedicate all of his life to his faith and service to God.
This he decided was the most reasonable decision at that time for the guitarist as he was having a serious battle with the use of substances including methamphetamine, Xanax, sleeping pills and alcohol and it was clear that he needed to turn over a new leaf.
Baring his journey as an open book, Welch wrote Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story back in 2008 where he fearlessly shared everything that he struggled with, letting fans, casual listeners, and fellow survivors alike get to see struggle and success as it unfolded.
Welch before the limelight
Head, before he was popular to his fans and friends, did not necessarily have a good history.
Born and raised in Bakersfield, California on June 19, 1970, young Welch was noticeably different from most kids back in the day. He said that he would always get bullied at school and people would often call him “Head” — thus the famous nickname — saying that “his head was too big for his body” and it stuck with him throughout his life.
Later on in his life, Welch found home in music, expressing himself the best way possible. He would often play the drums as his past time at first, then progressed to playing the guitar as his father convinced him to play the instrument.
Ever since that day, he started to shift all of his energy into enhancing his skills as a guitarist.
The Making of Korn
Because of his exceptional skills in playing the guitar, the members of the group L.A.P.D who just got disbanded decided to create a new band with Brian Welch back in 1993.
They then decided to name the new-formed band Korn as suggested by Jonathan Davis, the lead vocalist/frontman of the group. The group immediately liked it because according to them the name has a “creepy” feel to it and reminded them of the horror movie Children of the Corn.
Kickstarting their journey all the way to the top, the band released a self-titled debut stylized as KoЯn album back in 1993. This was followed by more music, releasing albums after albums including Life is Peachy (1996), Follow the Leader (1998), Issues (1999), and Take A Look In The Mirror (2003), making them one of the fastest rising metal band in the 90’s, selling out entire seats on arenas during their tours and earning them $25 million in the process.
As one of the pioneers of the genre “nu metal” in the 90’s to the early 2000s, the band then went on to lead a hard rock revolution that earned them the respect of the other bands and established their spot as one of the household band names around the world.
Party in the Front, Problems at the Back: The Effects of The Rock n Roll Lifestyle
While Korn continued to succeed in its run, the out-of-control party world of rock ‘n roll quickly got in the head of its members. And while the world was seeing Brian Welch as the rockstar who had it all, the lead-guitarist claimed that he was “dying inside” — a kind of pain only drugs and alcohol can numb and take away.
“I go back on the road and I start drinking, and just be like ‘okay guys, let’s party!’ and just sweep all the pain under the rug,” he said in an uncut interview with CBN.
While the situation seemed to have little to no effect on the career of Head in the music industry, it wreaked an irreversible, destructive effect on his marriage. Welch recounted that during such a phase, whenever he would come back home from the tour, he and his ex-wife, Rebecca Welch, would always do drugs and fight afterwards.
Although he claimed to have tried to quit doing drugs several times in his life, the guitarist stood no chance against it.
And just as he thought nothing right would ever happen, a miracle happened.
Welch’s then-wife had given birth to a young girl whom they named Jeanea, and it instantly changed everything for the Korn guitarist. Given the new chapter in their lives, the couple went on to turn over a new leaf.
“[Jeanea’s birth] was like the best thing. I said ‘life is gonna be good now. I got my band, I got my wife and I got my baby and we’re still climbing up,’” Welch described with utmost excitement.
Everything was starting to change for him and he seemed to have found a new life — or so he thought.
The Relapse
As a first-time father, Welch needed to head back on tour to work again, and that’s where it all spiraled down: his habits began creeping back to him, eventually pulling him back into the world that he once belonged in.
But relapse did not only hit the lead guitarist — his wife did, too. On numerous instances when Welch was partying on tour, Rebecca would be doing speed — amphetamine — on one hand, then hold their baby on the other. This ultimately caused the couple to break up altogether.
While everything was working according to plan from his career standpoint, Welch’s life at home was already crumbling apart.
Upon their divorce, the guitarist eventually won custody of the child, only to cause him more confusion. There is no question as to his conviction to raise and take care of his daughter, but the band member felt like he cannot expose Jeanea to the wild party life of Korn.
Torn between putting all of his focus on his daughter and enjoying the success that his band is currently enjoying, the musician has this to say, his eyes full of uncertainty: “But how can [I] not be there for my daughter?” This tug-of-war in his heart, combined with the crushing pressure to choose, caused the guitarist to rely deeper and deeper on drugs and alcohol.
The Wake-Up Call
One may think: how could one leave a band as big as Korn, a band that changed the face of music?
For Welch, Jeanea is more than enough reason to quit everything. This moment of realization dawned on him when one day, Welch heard his daughter, Jeanea, singing one of their songs while they were at home.
To his shock, it was A.D.I.D.A.S, which, as age-inappropriate as it is, stands for All Day I Dream About Sex.
Beginning to question his purpose and his life in general, the guitarist wondered, “When I heard her singing that song, I was like: ‘What am I doing to my kid?’” This made him feel like “the biggest loser in the world” and that he wasn’t “good for his kid.”
It was also during this time when Welch decided to venture into real estate, meeting a Christian couple who were about to turn his life around for the better.
Matthew 11:28: The Verse that Started (and ENDED) It All
At first, his partners weren’t bothering him with their faith, until one day, Welch himself reached out to them and told them all of the things that he is going through as an individual through an email.
Then, one of the couple replied to him by stating a bible verse saying, “Come to me all of you who are weary, and I will give you rest,” quoting Matthew 11:28.
He was shocked by the reply and thought to himself “Could Jesus be real?”, beginning to ask himself the most life-changing question —could there really be a God, and is that God calling him?
His question would be answered sooner than later when he decided to attend church with one of them. At first, he found the people praying “weird” but as the mass continued, he said that he was “drawn” and “started to feel something going on.”
And when the preacher asked if there’s anybody who wants to see Christ, the curious Welch found himself raising his hand and was very eager to see what the preacher has to say.
Right after going to the church, he recalled rolling up a hundred dollar bill and began snorting speed again — and while he was doing it, he said to himself “Lord, if you’re real like that guy says, please take these drugs away from me. I can’t quit, I want to do them but I wanna stop.”
For weeks after that incident, Welch continued on to do drugs while reading the bible, desperately trying to search for an answer. Then one day, he said that he began to feel some “peaceful presence” which caused him to feel shaky and have goosebumps all over his body.
But despite this happening, he still continued to doubt if it was God, and on the next day, he again felt something in his body that pushed him to read the bible.
Upon reading, he stumbled on a scripture that says, “The soul who sins is a soul who dies.”
The exact verse felt as if it was the answer to all of Welch’s questions. And as if on cue, he went out to throw away all the drugs that he had with him and decided to turn his life around once and for all.
The once party-loving, substance-dependent man without a care for the world has now surrendered his life completely to God saying, “I’m done God, I’m yours now,” marking the last time he has ever done drugs up to this day.
Welch was finally baptized in the Jordan River on March 10, 2005 and promised to focus all his life into serving Jesus, coming out of the water as a renewed, better man.
Also have an inspiring redemption story just like Brian Welch? Share it with us and let others know how you lived to tell your story.
Leave a Reply