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The author who sent this story to us is Bildad Shiundu
My drinking journey began in 2010 when I joined campus. I was 19. I joined campus an innocent young man whose closest interaction with alcohol was testing the priest’s wine after mass. I was an altar boy and 13 then. That little sip I took made me feel really awful and guilty. I kept praying to the Almighty to cleanse my body and have mercy on me for having messed with the temple of the Holy Spirit. I didn’t tell anyone about it until much later when I started drinking publicly. My parents were the non-nonsense type. That little sip would have gotten me a thorough beating. I am sure I would have been denied food too for a couple of days. That was my father’s way of dealing with indiscipline. Let’s get back to how I started drinking in campus.
Like everyone else, I was happy to join campus. From the onset, I knew campus life would give me freedom. Campus gave me an opportunity to be away from my strict parents. The university was located 100 km away from home. It’s all I wanted.
During my first days, I was focused. I sometimes look back and imagine it’s because I didn’t have much money. All my parents could afford at that time was my tuition fees and little pocket money for upkeep. I didn’t get government support too. I worked hard. I didn’t miss any classes and submitted all my assignments on time.
Soon, hell broke loose. I became friends with the ‘who is who’ in campus. These friends had no financial difficulties. They knew all the drinking clubs in town and its neighborhood. Their conversations revolved around parties, girls and drinking.
Questions like “Where will we be cruising this weekend? Did you arrive home safely? How did we part? “ dotted their conversation every other day. I am sorry to say this, but I fell for this lifestyle.
Two months after joining campus, I went with a friend to watch a football game in a night club. I had never been to a club before. I liked the ambiance. I liked the music and AHEM!! I liked the drink I was bought too. It was a lite beer. I really danced that night, albeit my team- the great Manchester United, won. From that day I didn’t watch a football match in any other place.
I soon knew all the alcohol drinks and choose a brand. Guinness. I liked it cold. How times change. It’s now me who was asking, “hey, how did we part?” and so forth. My academic performance weren’t that bad until I reached third year. I was now known as the “Rave Maniac” I would drink at any time of the day. I can’t count the number of times I went to class drunk.
Somehow, the friends who taught me drinking seemed focused. As much as they drunk, none of them missed classes or if they did, it wasn’t that much. I even missed the end of semester exams. All this while, my parents did not suspect a thing. I avoided home as much as possible.
The first Mistake
I couldn’t proceed to the second semester of the third year because of the missed exam. I didn’t tell anyone home. I decided to call school off for a while. It also happened that my parents had trust in me and gave me money to pay as school fees.
I thought I was wise and decided to start a business with the school fees. Not the whole of it though. I drank ¾ of it. I used the rest to start an eggs and sausage business. It was a brilliant business for a student. I used to make at least $15 every day. But as you can guess, I ‘drank’ the business. Drinking and partying was the norm of the day.
My friends circle grew. I lived a reckless life. I couldn’t cook so I had to eat in hotels and restaurants. It is like I only had time for drinking.
I didn’t sit for exams again. The circle repeated itself. Friends graduated and left. My parents knew I was in internship yet I was not. I became homeless, I had sold everything I owned including my bed. I slept in verandahs, unfinished houses or at a few of my friends places if they let me. Bathing was a problem. I used to smell. I depended on hand outs from my friends who cared.
The year is now 2013. A friend gave me a job to manage his pool table business. He used to pay me around $2 per day. I diligently worked for him for almost five years albeit with suspensions for over indulgence. This money was not enough for any of my needs. I still couldn’t save to pay for rent. I was living from hand to mouth. I wasn’t buying food though. You guessed it right; I was drinking cheap liquor and betting football matches. I never won anything big but I would win something every other day. I was smoking cigarettes too. It’s now five months since I last smoked a cigarette. Cold turkey worked for me.
Back to our story a friend I schooled with took me in. He was an academic writer helping students. He was not earning much, but he was more organized. He paid 90% of all our bills. Around that time – 2014, I started looking for freelance jobs online. I didn’t have a computer, I didn’t even have a library card to use the school library. They imagined I was still a student. I would go to cyber cafés and do online tasks that were not involving. This too was not encouraging. On most occasions, I would pay the cyber guy all the money I had earned. Poor me.
At this time, my parents had discovered, through a lecturer that I was not going to school. To make matters worse, my class had graduated. Both my parents were really depressed. They didn’t know I dropped out because of alcoholism. I told them I lost the money through money laundering and that I was afraid to tell them. They stopped supporting me financially.
The friend I was living with got a job in the city. I knew the end times were near. Who will pay my rent? I wondered. My friend left for the city and left me with most of his belongings including a Television set, a bed and a gas cooker. He also left me with half the rent and told me to work very hard so as to pay the remainder.
Second Mistake
As you can again make a guess, I didn’t pay the rent. I drank half of it and convinced my silly self that I would recover the money through betting. I lost the bet too. I can’t remember the games though. Trouble set in. The landlord was on my case. I made another mistake that I still regret to this day.
I took my friend’s telly and gas cooker to a local shylock. The plan was to place a sure bet to recover the belongings plus the rent. Mission failed again. I think this was one of my lowest moments. I told my friend that I could not raise the rent. “ Don’t worry, I will send someone to pick my stuff up. Meanwhile, go home and talk to your parents.’’ He replied. To say the least, I was depressed. Here is a guy coming for his belongings yet they are not there.
I had only one option: To run. “Where to?” I wondered. East or West home is the best. I decided to go home. To my parent’s home. As much as I had wronged them, they were happy to see me. The prodigal son was back. I apologized and told them that I needed a laptop to continue with the online job I had started. This was encouraging. My mother had heard heartbreaking stories about my lifestyle and decided to buy me a laptop, a modem and a flash disk. My siblings felt bad. “How can you buy him a laptop yet he messed with his school fees,” one of my sisters complained.
To add salt to injury, my friend called my mother and informed him that I had left with his belonging. I had blocked him. He couldn’t get me on any medium. My mum almost collapsed. She even wanted to take the new laptop away. Anyway, she asked for the shylocks details and paid the amount owed. I am really great full for her. My friend got his belongings back. He really quarreled me. We didn’t talk for over a year. We are close now.
A life line
Armed with my laptop, I started working online. It was a fresh breadth of life. Within a few months I was making good money. I wasn’t buying food, I wasn’t paying rent or anything. I only needed internet connection. Life was merry. My alcoholism ghost returned. I started drinking heavily.
One day, I was so drunk that I peed in the living room. My mum was so mad. She threw me out. I rented a small apartment near her place. I was still drinking while working as a freelance writer online. After three months, I was unable to pay rent again. I was in debt. At that time all my drinking partners had good jobs. There was a big hospital and school around. Most of the people I drank with were either teachers, nurses or doctors. I was drinking to impress them I think. I never drank anything cheap.
Because of lack of self-discipline, I was always the first to arrive in the bar and the last to leave. I was now referred to as the daily drinking officer. My mum didn’t know much about my drinking because she was always at work. She thought I had changed. I used to creep into her house and steal food. I am really ashamed. I would pretend I was picking something or wanted to help her in some task yet all I wanted was food.
Another Mistake
They say fools make the same mistake. I wouldn’t want to call myself a fool but once again I took my laptop to a shylock after having trouble with my landlord. Someone had promised me money. I couldn’t wait. I promised the shylock to pay back the laptop when the guy that promised me pays. I never got to take it back.
“Somebody broke into my house and stole my laptop.” I announced to my mum. She was really mad. I don’t know whether she believed it but she is always understanding.
She called her sister, who lived in Mombasa. Kenya’s second capital city and asked her to help me get a job there. I had promised her that I would change if I land a new job.
Within a week, I was in Mombasa. Mombasa is a coastal town full of life. I had always dreamed of living there. I got employed in a garments factory as a production clerk. My job was to record hourly productions in specific departments. The job wasn’t paying much. It paid the minimum basic salary. The basic minimum salary here at that time was $70 per month. I didn’t like it at all. Besides, most of the employees were semi illiterate. They were very comfortable with the pay.
To earn more money, you had to work for extra ours. It could get your salary to around $110. Nevertheless, I put in my best. I disliked it because to get enough money, I had to work late and on weekends too. It was during the world in Russia. I even missed a couple of games including the final because I was working.
When I went to Mombasa I lived with a cousin but spend most of my time at my aunt’s place. I had to pretend that I didn’t drink. She didn’t know me too well and we didn’t share personal stories. We worked in the same company. Nepotism I think. But unlike me, she loved her job.
When I earned my first salary, I moved out and started living alone. I could now drink as much as I wanted. I had money to buy house hold commodities but for some reason I did not. I lived in a single room and only owned a mattress, a very small one for that matter. It wasn’t even mine. My cousin had lent it to me, Because I wasn’t cooking in my house, I talked to some lady who owned a hotel to allow me to be picking food and paying at the end of the month.
Every of my colleagues did that. My colleagues soon introduced me to the local drinks. Alcohol harvested from coconut trees. Its white and tasty. It became my favorite because it was also cheap. I started drinking even during lunch breaks. It was my only motivation of going home after work. I started drinking late and borrowing friends for money to cater for my drinking needs.
I was so reckless that I never added any valuable item in that house apart from beer and alcohol bottles that served as trophies. I would call friends back home and pretend that eveything was okay.
I couldn’t control my drinking at all. I started arriving late for work. I was given a warning letter but I didn’t care. I started feigning sickness so as to go and drink. My health deteriorated. I lost weight.
Everybody knew the pay day. We use to receive our hard earned money in cash stapled in brown envelops. The debt collectors – people that lend others money at an interest – were always at the gate to receive you after you got paid. It was a lucrative business for them. . My debts became so much that there is a day I earned but I was still being owed.
I couldn’t pay rent. It was only $20. I couldn’t ask for help from home because everyone knew that I was working. My landlord was crazy. He was always verbally abusing me. One night, after spending time drinking I found he had placed new padlock on my door.
I had stayed in that house for three months without paying. I had nowhere to go to. The drinking den I was from was already closed. As usual, we were the last customers to leave. To make it worse, it was so cold and raining. All the people I knew, were either married or lived in a small house to fit the two of us. I had nowhere to go to. I slept seated at my door step.
I must have sobered up because of the rain and cold. I couldn’t go to work. I was very dirty. I had lost my phone during one of my drinking sprees so I couldn’t call my supervisor to inform her that I was sick or something.
I met the landlord that day. He could not hear any of my stories. He opened my door and threw my little belongings out. The only valuable thing in that house was my modem. I later traded it for a drink that day. I packed my belongings and put my mattress in a sack. Sorry, my cousin’s and headed to the local drinking den –where we used to drink the coconut drink.
I explained my predicament to our ‘bar attendant” .She was very understanding. She had a store where she kept the drink after harvesting. She gave it to me and asked me to use it as my house for the moment. Not for free though. I was to be paying her $5 every month. That was very little money but I could not raise it.
I owed everyone including the ‘ bar attendant’. She never bothered me much though.
The store I was using as my house was like a cave. I competed with rats for air. It was a tiny mud-house with holes everywhere. It could become muddy when it rained. The nearest toilet and water point was 200 meters away. Anyway, she really helped me. I am still planning how to repay her. Given life, I will bail her or her family out of poverty. She is a widow.
The sacking
I didn’t show up to work until after three days. I expected to be sacked, so I arrived late. I knew that even that month’s salary wouldn’t have saved me. On arrival at my work station, I was sent to the HR office. I was dismissed on arrival by a Chinese who run the company. His English was bad“ boyi you are many many lazy. Yesterday no come. Go home for good.” He said. I left with my head held high. I never liked that place anyway. I used to call it a mini prison.
News of my dismissal spread like bush fire. All the people I owed money were looking for me. Luckily, not many people knew where I was living. I never got to meet many of them.
I was back in my shanty knowing fully that I dint have a job. I personally never informed anyone that I had lost my job. Back at home everyone knew I was okay. My aunt didn’t even inform my mum. She assumed she already knew about it. I didn’t have a mobile phone so there was no communication at all.
I started helping the ‘ bar attendant’ in her errands. In return she gave me free food and free alcohol. I did this for like two months. I think that is when I really lost weight.
Recovery
One day, I decided to call my mum. I informed her that I didn’t have a phone. She was so happy to hear my voice. She had not heard from me in the last six months. She knew at once that I must have been drinking and in trouble. She wanted to help me. She sent to me some little money and a phone. Later, she sent me a ticket to go back home. She couldn’t send me the money to buy for the ticket by myself. Both of us knew that I might not board the bus.
When I arrived home, everyone was surprised to see me. I was thin. It’s the thinnest, I have ever been. That was in Sept, 2018. I weighed 65kgs. I am now at 87kgs. My family took good care of me. I started seeing a counselor who has helped me to recover from alcohol dependency.
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